For parents

If you have been ordered to attend, this page tells you what will happen

You did not choose this and you are probably not looking forward to it. What follows is the whole of it: what happens in the room, what she can and cannot decide, what it costs, and what is reported. Read the confidentiality section even if you read nothing else.

The most misunderstood point

This is not therapy and it is not private in the way therapy is

In parenting coordination Marti reports to the court. What you tell her can appear in a report that the judge reads and that the other parent's attorney receives. There is no version of this in which you tell her something and it stays between the two of you.

In mediation the rule is different: what is said in the session is confidential and is not reported. The report says only whether agreement was reached. In both roles she must act where a child is at risk of harm.

Who decides what

She can decide

Only what an order of appointment gives her: day-to-day questions about carrying out a plan that already exists. Exchange logistics, scheduling within the plan's terms, how the two of you will communicate.

She can only recommend

Where the order provides for it, she may recommend something to the court. A recommendation is not an order and does not bind you or the judge.

Only a judge can decide

Any change to the parenting plan, who the primary residential parent is, child support, relocation, and anything about property or money between you. If someone tells you a coordinator can change your custody, that is wrong.

What it costs and who pays

The seminar is a flat fee per parent. Mediation is hourly and divided equally between the parties unless the court orders otherwise. Parenting coordination is hourly against a retainer held for each party. Each parent is billed separately and receives their own statement.

If you cannot afford it, say so at the start rather than after the bill. Where you are found indigent and the case qualifies, the seminar and mediation are paid from the Divorcing Parent Education and Mediation Fund under Supreme Court Rule 38 and you pay nothing for them.

How to prepare

Bring a twelve-month calendar with your work schedule and the children's school and activity dates. Most disagreements dissolve when both calendars are on the table.

Bring the current order or plan, and a short written list of what you want, most important first.

Do not bring the children, and do not arrange childcare that requires you to leave early.

Leave the screenshots and recordings at home. Nobody is being judged here and there is no case to win in the room.

If you have an attorney, tell them you are attending. They may attend a mediation with you.

If the other parent refuses to take part

Attend anyway, on the date you were given. Attendance is recorded per parent. The report states factually that the session did not proceed, and the consequence of one parent's non-attendance is a matter for the court, not for you to chase.

Do not contact the other parent to persuade them, and do not do it on their behalf. Register yourself, attend, and let the record show what it shows.

Safety

If there is a protective order, or you are afraid of the other parent, tell this office before anything is scheduled. Sessions can be held with the two of you in separate rooms or separate video rooms, arrival times can be staggered, and mediation may be excepted entirely.

Where a safety concern is on the record, automated email to you is switched off completely and contact is made only at a number or address you have confirmed is safe.

You are never placed on an email with the other parent. Your address is not visible to them at any point.

Parent enquiry

Do not describe your case here, and do not include the other parent's name or contact details. This form is for scheduling and general questions only. Anything you write may have to be disclosed.